The Dirt – 2019
A docudrama about Mötley Crüe
In the early 80’s bands were rough, they were wild, they were out of control. The band that was absolutely the gnarliest was Mötley Crüe.
I have watched Netflix’s take on the rise and fall of their stars. As with any dramatized documentary there is a point where the viewer has to suss out the real events from the moments that have been “enhanced” for entertainment value.
I have never met any of the bad, nor to I wish to, but I did have a close encounter with their world. Here is my story. (names have been changed to protect……… something)
The Theatre of Pain Tour.
(November 1985)
My husband’s cousin, Sofia, was living with him for a few years in the 1980’s. She was fun, smiley and always, ALWAYS, up for any adventure. She loved to party and definitely liked “the bad boys”
One evening she calls me up (on a landline – cell phones were not a thing – important fact to remember later). She has been given five tickets to the Mötley Crüe concert that Thursday, by the lead singer, Vince. (Where and how she met him, I have no idea and I didn’t think to ask). Sofie and her four guests would be picked up by a limo, sent by Vince. We would not have to worry about parking, or driving through crowded streets, or drinking or driving. (Although that did turn into a tiny issue very early on in the evening. But we were living in a different world then and drinking and driving was pretty common place). Larry did not want to come, so it was me, Sofie and three of her cousins.
“Who is paying for the limo?” I asked.
“Don’t worry. It’s no big deal,” Sofie said.
We were to meet
at Larry’s at 5 p.m.
I got dressed in my best Mötley Crüe -esque outfit. A homemade, purple jumpsuit with a flourish of white stars on the cuff of one of the bell bottoms, my favorite boots, some make-up and of course I did my hair. Hair was big in the 80’s. mine, not so much. I didn’t have enough, and what I had was baby-fine, to make big hair. Sofie had lots of hair. It was big, it was blond and it framed her dark eyes that were thickly outlined with ebony eyeliner.
“Who is paying for the limo?” I asked.
“Don’t worry. It’s no big deal,” Sofie said. She was ready to party, but her cousins had not shown up.
“We’ll just pick them up on the way to the concert.
Fun fact: every time you stop/pickup someone one up in a limo there is a fee attached. The driver informed us of this AFTER our third stop/pickup and we were heading to the arena. He also informed us that Vince had not pre-paid for the limo service, so were would have to pay before we disembarked. The five of us had no money; and we certainly did not have $200 plus the extra fees. Debit was not a thing, just like cell phones and none of us had a credit card that we were willing to use.
“No big deal.” Sofie said.
Always one to think on her feet, Sofie had an uncle who lived close by. We could stop there and get the payment. And, yes, there would be another $25 dollar charge.
Sofie scurried up to the uncle’s apartment.
I sat patiently in the limo with the cousins. One cousin got out and started to chat with the driver. The two of them wandered to the trunk of the car and dug out a bottle of Jack Daniels (so much for sober driving) while we waited for Sofie’s return. And waited. And waited…… until eventually Sofie returned, triumphant in her quests.
We arrived at the Arena, Sofie paid the driver and we bypassed the long line of ticket holders waiting to get in.
Before the band even got on stage,
Sofie turned to me and said she was going to find Vince and get the money for the limo back. She disappeared and never returned to her seat. The cousins and I sat though music we didn’t like, watching a band we could barely see because we were in the nose-bleed section at the farthest end of the Arena surrounded by crazy M/C fans.
when the concert was over, Sofie had still not returned. The four of us followed the crowds out onto the street. We were about 7km (5 miles) from Larry’s house. (A bit far to walk in stiletto heels) I looked at the cousins.
“Dig deep,” I said.
We managed to scrounge up about $7 in coins. There was a row of taxi’s waiting along the street. I walked up to one of the cabs and asked him house close $7 would get us to Aikens and Macray. He shook his head, took the money and said, “get in.” He took us all the way back to Larry’s house.
Never one time, during all of this did I really worry about Sofie. I figured she could take care of herself. I stomped into Larry’s bedroom, had a rant and left. I drove the three cousin’s home and returned to my apartment.
One of the cousin’s must have tattled on Sofie (they were probably worried and had good reason to be) Her parents called Larry a couple of hours later. He told them he would find her and have her call home.
Somehow, he figured out what hotel the Crüe was staying at. He called the front desk and asked for Vince’s room. He got it. Then he asked for Sofie.. she came to the phone. He told her to call home because her parents are worried and then he went back to bed. (Life was pretty simple back then, wasn’t it)
Thank you for joining me today.
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